Not in anger at the process.
Not toward the manager sitting beside me.
But in my direction - me, the only woman in the room.
We weren’t even at dismissal yet.
Just following policy.
Exploring why he'd been AWOL.
He wasn’t new to the process.
This was our third meeting.
But something changed in him, and I was at the receiving end of it.
The woman.
BECAUSE I'm a woman.
And this happens more than we think -
even if it doesn’t involve a flying chair.
Many leaders still don't realise when their reactions shift based on who’s in the room.
Ask yourself -
↳ Do you ask the man for the final answer - even when the woman spoke first?
↳ Do you interrupt one person but not the other?
↳ Do you “escalate” behaviours only when authority looks a certain way?
Because that’s not accidental.
That’s imbedded bias.
That's why the chair was aimed at me, and not man who was sitting right next to me.
Let's be honest -
Most managers won’t throw a chair.
But some will withdraw respect.
Some will speak louder, colder, sharper.
Some will dismiss ideas without even knowing why.
And too often - it’s directed at women. Even if unintentionally or indirectly.
There's no quick fix, but here's a start;
✔️ Reflect on your reactions -who gets your calm, your trust, your benefit of the doubt?
✔️ During meetings, audits, disciplinaries note where your attention goes first.
✔️ If you witness this happen, say something. Silence reinforces the hierarchy.
Bias doesn’t need to scream to be dangerous.
Sometimes it just needs to throw its weight slightly in one direction.
👋🏽 𝗛𝗶, 𝗜’𝗺 𝗧𝗶𝗻𝗮, 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗥 𝗛𝗮𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁.
𝗜’𝗺 𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗥 𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗼𝗼.
𝗪𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝘅 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗥 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴.
𝗠𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽—𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲.
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Founder of HR Habitat, award winner of "Best HR & Employment Law Consultancy, 2024" title. As featured in BBC Oline, BBC Asian Network Radio, Telegraph & more.Â
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